Welcome to our Thanksgiving service. I hope that you are all well, and at this traditional family gathering the world is a happy place for you all.
Did you get a turkey for Thanksgiving?
How does he (or she) feel about thanksgiving?
Did you ask?
Do you intend to eat your turkey for Thanksgiving?
Have you discussed this with the turkey?
What sides will you have with the turkey? Does the turkey approve of these?
(Your audience will start booing at this point).
(Don't worry, soldier on!)
Do you understand just exactly why you are celebrating thanksgiving? Do you understand why turkeys are important?
Does the turkey also understand?
In closing, I'd like to say that you have been an attentive audience, although I notice that there are very few turkeys here.
Good night and god bless.
