How do you cope with death?


23 Answers

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

When my son died many years ago, I prayed and ask for comfort, strength, guidance, understanding and peace. I got all of those and more.

Each person must find their own peace. It's never easy.

Ancient Hippy Profile
Ancient Hippy answered

Life for the survivors of a loved one's death must resume. Going forward with your life doesn't mean that you've forgotten about them. Enjoying life again doesn’t imply that the person is no longer missed. Your emotions are shattered and piecing together your life doesn't mean betrayal to your loved one. Spend time with others, take care of yourself, don't neglect your health and if you're a spiritual person, reach out for help and guidance.

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

I haven't.

Roy Lovett Profile
Roy Lovett answered

My method might not be so healthy. I did a lot of stupid things when I lost my sister, cutting/drinking and all that jazz. I also recently lost my bf Tyson. Like my sister, he was super young. I've done a lot of regrettable things because I don't know how to deal with anything. Why do bad things happen to amazing people?

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

I list my dad when I was under 2, when I was 37 I lost my mom, 11 years later I lost my brother, a few years later it was my brother in law.  It's always very painful.  For me the only thing that works is time and GOD.

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

It's never easy and, depending on who died, it can be devastating. Religious people can console themselves with the belief that their loved ones -- if they shared a common belief system -- have gone to Heaven. Religion can offer no comfort if the loved one was not a believer.

In a long life I've lost many people. One, in particular, threw my life off the tracks and I never quite got back to where I had been. Time eases the pain, of course, but sudden death is always the most devastating.

So how do I cope? The same way countless people have coped since we came down from the trees. I just carry on. You don't forget but you do have to get on with your life.

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Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
Queen Elizabeth, well her speech writer, said that grief is the price we pay for love. I thought that was pretty good.
Virginia Lou
Virginia Lou commented
Dozy, I found that quote just a few months ago now...and incorporated it into the flyer to publicize the grief seminar my colleagues are preparing in Iowa.

I thought the sentiment was wonderful coming from the Queen, but just realized with your comment yes doubtless her writers...
Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
The royals were famed for their snobbishness, not for their eloquence. The new generation may be changing that.
Anna Levi Profile
Anna Levi answered

If the person was ill, I remind myself that they aren't suffering anymore. I also remind myself that death happens to all living things eventually, it's an inevitable event. I'm not religious, and I like to think of the deceased in a positive way, recalling all the good things they did and happy memories together, if I knew them. I see funerals as celebrations of a person's life, not as goodbyes.

otis campbell Profile
otis campbell answered

My mothers death upset me and my cat taz but i have seen people shot and killed car wreck deaths u start to realize life can be gone very quickly

Dakota Mackenzie Profile

I get very depressed when I lose someone close to me. When I get depressed, I don't eat much and I lose sleep. I don't do it by choice, I physically cannot bring myself to do so. Luckily, I have people left who still care about me, and they won't allow me to get hurt. I surround myself with people who will make it better.

Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

This was a talk Sam Harris did just after the death of Christopher Hitchens.

I actually deal with it in this similar manner and it is worth watching:

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Virginia Lou
Virginia Lou commented
Hi DarkM I did watch this through, actually for the second time - because I have watched enough of his talks that YouTube now suggests them for me!
John Doe Profile
John Doe answered

Move forward, day to day. The loss gets easier with time, but never really goes becomes easier to share with others, the good memories you have of the person that you lost.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve.  It is an emotional rollercoaster that involves many emotions and levels of emotions .. And that is not something anyone can control. Although sadness is a normal reaction to losing someone close to you, understand one thing more .. So is happiness.  What I mean by that is .. Being happy is not a form of betrayal for a lost love one .. Being happy is a tribute to a lost love one. There are many things to be happy about .. Like appreciating the blessings in one's life.  At a time of loss .. Appreciate that you had the opportunity to have known this person and that they occupied a very special place in your life. THAT alone, is cause to celebrate and be happy as a form of paying homage to the memory of someone you love.

Personally, I would not want to be the cause of sadness for my loved ones .. I would want them to remember me and the happy times we enjoyed together. I would want them to remember with a smile .. Not anguish.  I think that is what anyone would want for their loved ones left behind.

I can tell you one thing I've learned about losing someone I love .. don't waste precious time and tell the people you love that you LOVE them.  Death is forever .. so is regret. It's far too late after someone is gone to tell them to their face those very special words.

Luna Lily Profile
Luna Lily answered

I get emotional hearing about people who have passed, even if I didn't know them personally.

When I lose someone important, I surround myself with close friends and family.

Kai Chen Profile
Kai Chen answered

Usually, I'd just distract myself, do a word search, suduko and just try get it out of your mind. Just smile and stay positive.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

How do I deal effectively with significant loss (death)?

Like everyone else, this is partially determined by my relationship with the person or my pet---(I'm going to stick with higher order "beings.")

I have two needs when I lose something---I need to deal with my emotions (normal reactions) and my intellectual needs (how does this fit into my philosophy of life).

There are many sources for emotional help---support groups, books, articles.  So far, the deaths that I have had to deal with have followed the natural (typical) order of life---parents, friends, pets.  The "five stages of grief" have provided sufficient insight into what i have gone through so far. (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief. Wikipedia)

From the intellectual standpoint, the existence of an "afterlife" in another order of being and my understanding of the nature of that afterlife---coupled with sufficient insight into the nature of the relationship between the "now" of this life and the "then" of eternity--allows me considerable satisfaction with what happens in my life.

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

Sometimes I deal with it better than other times. No matter what you do it isn't something you can really emotionally prepare for. One minute they are here, next they are gone, and you are left with the shock, the finality, and emptiness of that.

Kioyre S. Profile
Kioyre S. answered

I lost my stepfather to pancreatic cancer some years ago, so I got to see first-hand how mentally painful cancer can be. It made it twice as difficult to finally grasp. I tend to distance myself from family and supporters in order to reflect on things I could've done better to have improve that person's life while they were alive. I tend to neglect my own feelings and well-being to care for those who are hurting around me instead of myself. When I lost a close friend and classmate back in March, I did the exact same thing. I'm highly aware I do it, but I actually see that as my way of coping.

AnnNettie Paradise Profile

I found that crying helps ease the pain of grief. Therefore, I am not afraid nor timid in letting the tears flow. I definitely do not feel that crying reveals a lack of faith in God. I found that when I really pour out my heart to God in prayer, along with meditation on the scriptures, this is when God gives me a calm heart along with a calm spirit so that I am not overly saddened.

Instead of isolating myself, I really see the need to communicate my feelings with family members and close true friends. Because discussing my feelings with someone I trust will open the way for me to receive kind words of encouragement when I need them the most.

Cookie Hill Profile
Cookie Hill answered

I cope with death by reading about the resurrection of the dead at John 5:25, 28,29, " Most truly I say to you, the hour is coming,and it is now, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who paid attention will live."

Shabouchy Aqua Profile
Shabouchy Aqua answered

Knowing the true condition of the dead has greatly helped me to cope with death. God's Word, the Bible, teaches at Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10 that "the dead know nothing at all....there is no work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the Grave." Recognizing that the dead are conscious of nothing assures me that they aren't suffering nor missing or assisting loved ones and aren't even conscious of being dead. It's comforting to know that they are indeed resting in peace. Of greater comfort to me is the promise made at John 5:28, 29 & Acts 24:15 that there is going to be a resurrection. To know that I can be reunited with my loved ones who have died right here on earth brings me great comfort and let's me know the natural grief that I have experienced is only temporary.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

By realizing life goes on and others depend on me. So I get up and put one foot in front of the other. I also take time to grieve. I cry and let the pain out. I find comfort and support in others. I also try not to focus on the loss, but on the good that was brought into my life by the person. It helps me get from the feeling of loss to the feeling of how lucky I am to have gotten to know him/her.

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